Rent

This is the card that I have sent my rent check in, every month for the past two years You do the math--that's like 24 cards. I first found the Halloween version of this card a couple of years ago, and mailed it to my sister. She found the card to be so disgusting, that she sent it back. I found that gesture to be quite clever, so I began to keep my eyes peeled for funny greeting cards. That's when I realized that they make this card for almost every occasion, just simply changing the background. I cannot even tell you what it says on the inside, because I always am laughing too hard to notice, when I am slipping in my rent check, and popping it in the mail. I cannot think of what is more facetious than receiving this card every single month for two years--but for me, it's not commenting on receiving the card every month for two years! This might just add fuel to my fire, motivating me to continue on as long as this cheeky card exists. Because my landlord prefers not to communicate in any way, (even though she was my old boss and good friend for many years,) I have to imagine her reaction to the monthly card. I like to think she has saved every one, and keeps them in an old photo album, that she gets out during parties to entertain her guests. I imagine her running to the mailbox and jumping for joy when the card finally arrives. And maybe her man lover beats her to the mailbox some months. To which he probably then calls her at work, laughing and throwing his head back like a Pez dispenser, letting her know it arrived. Then she probably tells him that she can't wait to open it, and asks him to drive it to her work. So then he does, but he opens it on the drive because he is too excited to see what holiday version of the card they are making now. When he arrives to her job, her co-workers are all gathered, laughing with anticipation, to see if I have continued with the greeting card charade. After she opens it, there is a raucous laughter that disturbs the business, but my landlord just shares with the customers the hilarious tale, standing on a table and raising the card above her head for all to see. Everyone snaps pictures with their cell phones and sends it to no fewer than 16 friends. Hours later the crowds calm down, and my landlord sneaks out of her work with the card in tow. She smiles all the way home, shaking her head, pleased that she has such a clever tenant.