Wear yo' makeup!

It's a well known fact I like the least amount of conflict as possible. Some view this as a major weakness, some acknowledge the fact I grew up being stuffed in suit cases and thrown down the stairs--so maybe I just want to take it easy, and not sweat the small stuff.  Nonetheless, my job is to boss people around. And while this is certainly not my favorite part of my job, I also don't want to be known as some asshole who can't do her job. So as with everything in life, I try to put my own spin on it.
As you know, I work with 20 diva misfits. Their job is quite easy, sell, be pleasant, and look pretty doing it. It is my job to make sure they have all the tools necessary to make this happen. Along the way, like every minute of every single day, we have a snafu here and there. And sometimes my darlings forget what they are suppose to do. If they forget to sell, I yell at them. If they forget to be pleasant, I beat them. If they forget to be pretty--well, that often takes a little more elbow grease on my part. 
And here's the tale of, "When My Darlings Forgot Being Pretty is the Most Important Thing."

It's hard to believe I am not drop dead gorgeous at every moment--naturally. But this blog is based on truths I just have to tell, so I will let you know, I have to work at this mug. Some people are naturally gorg, and require little effort, and *gasp* little makeup. But these people are plain with no personalities and wear yoga pants... as pants. Most of us require 16-87 products not including tools. And if you say you don't, you are lying or get Botox. And if it's the latter, good for you! *high five* In my humble opinion, the only thing worse than a homely woman who can't be helped, is a lazy woman, who can be helped. And trust me, we are all a little lazy, but lazy and unattractive does not work for me.
Every so often one of my diva misfits forgets the third prong on their three prong job description. They roll into work with either their hair combed with a garden rake, or a mug devoid of pretty. This is not only failure to meet a job requirement, this hinders them from goal number one--SELL. No one wants to buy pretties from an ugly. So, to make a medium length story into a long one, I had to use myself as a visual for those of my darlings who are as dumb as a box of hair, and not quite getting it.
The following pictures were snapped in a series to prove an age old lesson, ugly people do not make it far in life.

 

Exhibit 1: I didn't do my hair or makeup and look like a sad soccer mom who hates herself.

 

Exhibit 2: Doing yo' hair is an improvement, but how do you forget yo' mug?

Exhibit 3: Makeup gives you a soul, but what lady forgets her lipstick?

Exhibit 4: Confidence is key. Your facial expression with makeup can hide the fact you eat frosting from a can while crying in the bathtub.

Exhibit 5: Wear yo' damn makeup!