Leggin's

If I had to pick the most fascinating thing about me, more specific than, everything--it would be my day-to-day revolutionary costumes. I have a wardrobe like no otha'! In fact, my two spare bedrooms at the Country Manse are mostly stuffed full with my clothes. And you realize when I say, "stuffed full, " I mean dry cleaned, organized, colorized and often admired on dull Saturday nights at home. My favorite genre of clothing is summer dresses, which also make up the largest percentage of my clothing, with a 2:1 ratio of summer dress to every other article of clothing.
But honestly, describing my wardrobe that won't quit, is quite boring, and probably seems overly boisterous. Despite the fact I am nearly perfect in every way, I am humble and modest, and am not trying to make my fans  cry themselves to sleep three nights a week. So let's  talk about how my wardrobe and style is terribly flawed, as people live for the horrors!
I have elevently billion dresses and dressy work type outfits. They are colorful and trendy, and bring about no fewer that 67 compliments a day. I also work more than the average person, which means I am dressed up and look darling most of the time. However, if I am not at work, I dress like a hobo.  If you are analyzing this blog, like I hope you are, you are probably thinking, "well, when Gin isn't working, she just wants a relaxed down home look." No, Gin is much more superficial than that. I. Don't. Know. How. To. Dress. Casual. Does this mean I don't try? Hell no. I am also too lazy to wear dress clothes when I don't have to. I don't understand casual clothes! I don't get the styles, I don't like the way they feel, fit--I just don't get it. For instance, jeans. Who doesn't have 97 pairs of jeans? I don't. I have a few pair and I only wear them in an emergency... like it's cold and rainy and I am going to break into an old abandoned house. But I hate it the whole time because it feels stiff and tight, and hinders me from being fast or bendy. And what if I need to curl up into a ball? It would probably hurt and not be cozy. And then what shoes do you wear? I certainly can't wear my usual dress shoes, because that would just look silly. And a boot would just make everything even harder to do fast and bendy. So in case of an emergency, I usually wear my hip hop shoes. You know, my pink and white high top Nikes that are made to look old school or ironic...or whatever you kids were doing 5 years ago when I bought them.
So what do I do when I am not at work and not in the one state of emergency that I could think of? I wear $8 Target leggin's as pants. (Please omit the last 'g' for proper pronunciation.) I prefer a couple sizes too big so they aren't skin tight--but truth be told, still not really a pant. I came about this find over a year ago when I wound up in Arkansas with no luggage and no access to a mall. So I went to a Target, and I shit you not, the only "pants" available were cropped leggin's, and the only size was an XL. At the time I thought I was in serious trouble.  But much to my chagrin, I stumbled upon a new way of life. The Target brand is my favorite because it has a thick band that really keeps your belly flat. And if your rear is going to be showcased in a non-pant, the least you can do as a lady, is keep your gut in. I usually wear them with a chic flip flop, or a dainty ballet flat, or a Western style boot if it's cold. I can move fast, kick, stretch, or roll into a ball and stuff myself into a tiny space if need be. If I suddenly don't feel well, I can lay down on the nearest couch and still be able to breath. And for $8, I can own 38 pairs--and I do. This means if they fade in the slightest--toss. If you don't want to do laundry--toss. If you suddenly need to change into real clothes, and you're far from home and you don't want to carry your leggin's in your handbag--toss. Or, you get stuck in Arkansas and your ill fitting cheap dress you had to buy at Target looks ugly and you hate it, and you want to fly home in comfort--toss the dress in an airport bathroom, and turn to the leggin's that you, this time, didn't mind carrying in your handbag.
The moral of the story is this, some of us can wear whatever we want, and still not look white trash. Advice for me--not you.